I’m not good at talking about myself – and when I say “Oh, I’m not good at talking about myself….” I don’t mean in like a shy, coy way. I’m physically incapable of remembering facts when asked, I all of the sudden lose any opinion I’ve ever held on a subject, I play down every aspect of myself I’ve built up the courage to learn to love.
I’m not good at talking about myself and because of this I keep almost everyone I know at arm’s length. I don’t build my relationships like I should and I know it’s hurting me. I have some AMAZING people in my life that I just let slip away – partly because I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong when I talk to them, partly because if I don’t I’m worried they’ll ask about me and I’ll just be silent.
This is how I play out most of my relationships. I’m fine in small bursts until you realize you’re not really getting to know anything about me, just the first 2-3 conversations I’ve trained myself to know. The small talk that makes people think I’m nice but very bland. And maybe I am just nice but bland, but I think there is still more to me buried underneath this shell of a character I sometimes have to play.