just the gibberish of a girl

I feel like I have so much to say, and it’s just snippets of thought. Not real things, but fleeting things that enter my mind. Things I find so incredibly important, but can’t seem to write down or even begin to figure it out. I’m simultaneously so incredibly happy and heartbroken at the same time.

Mostly wondering when it will be my turn, worrying I won’t be ready. Wondering if the people who have found theirs, if they will really nourish and keep it. The people who are really deserving, the people who are so scared, the people who I know are sometimes trying to pretend like it doesn’t matter. It does matter, it matters so much.

This is my religion. Love and importance and respect. These are my religion. These are the things I believe in beyond a doubt of my being. And falling in love is the most magical thing. The most heart wrenching, tiring, magical thing. And while I’ve been there, I’ve loved so fully, I worry that it may not happen again. But I still find myself more worried about those around me than myself sometimes.

I think this is what’s important. Worry for those around you. It’s so incredibly difficult sometimes, to give up yourself for others, but it’s so rewarding and invigorating. Still take time for you, but when you’re getting by and others aren’t, help them. Love them. Let them in to every part of you that may offer them solace.

Fall in love with love. Fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with others. Fall so deeply that you hurt knowing that some people don’t feel this way. Just Fall. Just Love. Just Be.

Random sentiments, still not written down, but this felt better than writing nothing. It feels important. Even if it’s not, even if it’s random gibberish, it’s something.

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